Human-Gio

I’m at war. In the heat of battle and the enemy is so close at hand.
So close that I can feel his breath, hear his movements, and behold his shadow.
So close my heart can race uncontrollably and palpitations can flow like a torrent river.
What am I more afraid of?
The cause of my anxiety, my automatic response to it or the in explicable fact that I don’t understand why I am afraid?
You see the strange thing is that I know my foe and he knows me well.
Yet familiarity doesn’t earn the luxury of compassion in any way, shape or form. No punches are pulled and the viciousness only seems to escalate.
I am not referring to weapons of a tangible kind but I have become accustomed to the penetrating feel of cold steel in my heart.
I am not the victim of a fatality but the beneficiary of unintentional conditioning.
However I suppose you can say the trainer and trainee is one and the same person, since the enemy can sometimes be closer than you may think.
It’s curious how emotions can sometimes take control of an individual.
What causes phenomenon like knots in the stomach, butterflies, anxiety, heartache, tears of joy, tears of pain and pride?
Are my emotions my enemies or my friends? A hindrance or a benefit? Strength or weaknesses? One thing that is irrefutable, assured and confirmed is that I am undeniably… human.